THE NAY-SAYERS – Part 2 – Low Carb Nay-Sayers

The Things People Say!

“My ex-wife’s uncle’s cousin’s brother-in-law’s neighbor did that there Adkinson no carbohydrate diet, and his kidneys swelled up like a egg bound snake and flew outta his belly button and plopped right on the floor.”

“Why don’t you try Weight Watchers, dear? It works for everybody!”

“That no carbohydrate diet’ll kill you. They said so in the National Enquirer, and I saw in on the TV on “Jerry Springer,” too. It’s gotta be true.”

“I don’t see why you don’t just eat a healthy, balanced diet and limit your calories and fat. That’s what I do, and I’ve never had a weight problem. You’re just weak.”

People never cease to amaze me. I am astounded by the misinformation that they view as gospel. They heard it on the television, they read it in a newspaper, or a lady at the 7-11 told them something – and they believe it. They don’t do any research. They don’t consider the source. They do not let logic or facts interfere with their opinion – ever!

I have to believe that these are the same people who think that doing the dishes will actually be fun if they use a particular brand of dishwashing liquid, and believe that their sex lives will improve if they drink a certain kind of beer.

It also astounds me that they feel that they have the right to comment on what I eat. Many people seem to think that their right to voice their opinion overrides my right to do as I choose without interference. Ummmm, excuse me?!? I don’t think so!

When people attack the way you are eating, they are infringing on your right to do as you choose. Always keep that in mind. It doesn’t matter whether the person is your mother, your sister, a coworker, a friend, or a stranger. Each and every one of them is infringing on your rights as an adult to do what you think is best for you. The only differences are their motivation for doing so and your level of interest in having a continuing relationship with them.

 

Minimizing Comments

The best way to avoid negative comments is to not bring low carbing up to begin with. People, in general, really don’t care that much about what you’re eating. If you don’t bring it up, they probably won’t even notice. That way you don’t open the door for criticism and then feel that owe anyone an explanation for how you are eating.

For example, if someone offers you bread, mashed potatoes, or corn, simply say “No, thank you.” And stop. That’s all you have to say. It may be harder to stop than you think, though. Many new low carbers (and I was one of them) want to shout from the rooftops about how wonderful low carbing is and how well it works. If you can resist that temptation, your life will be a lot easier.

Even when people begin to notice your weight loss and comment on it they don’t really want a detailed explanation. They’re just trying to be nice. While I often tell people at this point that I am low carbing, if I don’t trust their reaction I just reply with “Thank you,” and only go into details if they ask for specifics. If someone that I know is a low fat enthusiast wants details, I usually reply with “I cut out sugar, bread, pasta, potatoes, and rice.”

This may seem like a chicken’s was out, but I have decided that I do not want to waste time and energy trying to defend myself when I know that everything I say will fall on deaf ears.

 

Fighting Back – Nicely

If you anticipate being attacked by nay-sayers either at work or at home, it is best to think about what you are going to say before the situation arises. I assume that you want to have a continuing workable relationship with these people, so my suggestions will be relatively polite.

Nay-Sayer: “That Atkins diet destroys the kidneys!”

Me: “Actually, that isn’t true. There have been no documented cases of people having they kidneys fail while on a low carbohydrate diet. And anyway, I monitor this with my doctor and I’m just fine.” And change the subject.

Nay-Sayer: “You can’t tell me that fruits and vegetables aren’t healthy!”

Me: “Of course they’re healthy, and I eat them. I just avoid those that have a high glycemic level.” And change the subject.

You understand the tactics here. Short, minimal answers are best. Never ask a nay-sayer a question unless you want to prolong the conversation about low carbing! Face it, you really aren’t any more interested in their answers than they are in yours.

Changing the subject after you have made your short statement is imperative. Be abrupt. Try and think of something unrelated to low carbing as possible, and something in which they have an interest. Asking them a question about themselves or one of their hobbies/interests works wonders. People always want to talk about themselves. You might end up being bored, but at least you won’t have to be on the defensive. (But please try to stay awake while Aunt Susie gushes about how her dahlias are doing this summer and gives you a precise bud count for each and every plant.)

One CarbSmart reader, Dina, wrote me and told me that she keeps copies of both her old (pre-low carb) and current lab results with her at all times and whips them out whenever anybody confronts her about the safety of a low carbohydrate diet. What a terrific idea! It works on two levels. First, it proves beyond a shadow of a doubt that low carbing is healthy for her. Second, it gives the nay-sayers more information than they really wanted, which tends to slow them down considerably.

 

When They Don’t Take No For An Answer, Set Some Boundaries

Some people are pit bulls when it comes to voicing their opinions. They have to win every discussion and every argument. Every single encounter is the Alamo to them, and they’re going to fight to the last word. Nothing but the total annihilation of their opponent will satisfy them. The best thing to do is to avoid these people like the plague, but it’s not always possible.

Barb, a subscriber to one of my low carb support lists, has had this problem with her mother. Her mother wants her to go back to Weight Watchers, which not only didn’t work for Barb but is not working for her mother, either. The woman calls her constantly to berate low carbing and tell Barb she’s going to kill herself if she continues to do it. Nothing would shut her up.

I suggested to Barb that she tell her mother, politely but firmly, that if her mother continues to nag about Weight Watchers, she will terminate the conversation. Now, I don’t mean an angry, slam down the phone hang up, but firmly saying, “I don’t want to talk about this, Mom, so I have to go now. Talk to you later. Bye.” Barb didn’t think it would work, but it did – at least for the time being. Barb will probably have to repeat this procedure a number of times before it really sinks in before it really sinks in to her mother that Barb means it.

Another thing I have done is ask argumentative people if they have read the book. Here’s how it usually goes:

 

Me: “Have you actually read Dr. Atkins New Diet Revolution?” (Or Protein Power or The Carbohydrate Addict’s Diet or whatever plan you are following.)

Nay-Sayer: “No!”

Me: “Well, when you have read the book and actually understand the premise, I’ll be happy to discuss it with you.”

Particularly Loathsome Nay-Sayer: “I don’t have to read the darn book to know that it’s bad for you!”

Me: “Good. Then I don’t have to discuss it with you. Isn’t that a relief for both of us?” And I change the subject.

 

Strangers Are Stranger Than Most

I can understand people I actually know confronting me about low carbing. I don’t like it, but I can understand it. What I can’t understand is strangers trying to browbeat me.

I have no qualms about being rude to a stranger. If I’m in the mood to be polite, I will usually opt for that and use one of the above techniques, but sometimes they grate on me like the sound of fingernails on a blackboard, and they unleash the nasty little demon that resides inside me. Some things I have actually said to strangers are: (Warning: Do not say these things to anyone who is armed.)

Me: “Who are you and why should I care about what you think?”

Me: “It’s nice to encounter someone who is so blissfully ignorant.”

Me: “Excuse me, but I don’t know you and don’t want to.”

I never said I was nice, did I? If I did, don’t believe it. I do not
suffer fools gladly, or in silence.

I would be very interested in hearing about your experiences with nay-sayers. How do you respond to them? What’s worked? What hasn’t? Send your comments to [email protected].

Feedback

I would enjoy receiving your own observations about your low carb journey. Please send your comments, personal tips and tricks, suggestions, and questions to [email protected].

 

We’re all in this together.

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