Prepare Yer Low Carb Booty for Talk Like A Pirate Day!

Every September 19^th turns normally sane people, such as myself, (stop laughing…. I’m sorta sane) into people with eye patches, peglegs, and an odd sort of speech. This year is extra special because it’s the 10^th anniversary of Talk Like A Pirate Day! Why even have such a holiday? The official website says it best:

 Talking like a pirate is fun. It’s really that simple.

It gives your conversation a swagger, an elán, denied to landlocked lubbers. The best explanation came from a guy at a Cleveland radio station who interviewed us on the 2002 Talk Like a Pirate Day. He told us we were going to be buried by people asking for interviews because it was a “whimsical alternative” to all the serious things that were making the news so depressing.

In other words, silliness is the holiday’s best selling point.

Is any of this low-carb? Not technically, but silliness reduces stress, which is always good for you. And pirates like to eat, so we’ll talk about that too.

I’ll quickly admit Talk Like A Pirate Day is one of my favorite holidays, and I want to help you celebrate it properly. So excuse me a moment while I set the tone for this most momentous occasion. [Ahem! *clears throat*]

Avast, me hearties! Today be a day for celebration, tomfoolery, and the excuse t’ say booty as much as ye like. It also be a day t’ use yer pirate name. This year me name is Calico Anne Flint! Me purpose here is t’ share some fun ideas t’ put the dazzle in yer booty, some arrrrrr in yer speech, and enjoy some tasty treats from the bung hole (we’ll skip the poop deck, it needs swabbed).

T’ find yer pirate name, ye can choose from a variety o’ websites. Two of me favorites are from GangstaNames and PirateQuiz. Pick yerself one and demand landlubbers address you as such all the day long!

Not sure how t’ talk like a pirate? Use this fine English-to-Pirate translator! Now ye can speak like the captain’s o yore, and impress yer clients with yer spiffy use o’ the term bilge rat (just don’t call them that).

Ye scurvy dogs might want t’ go a step further and spend yer bounty on pirate booty. Ye can smartly amass some fantastical treasures, like movies, costumes, games and the like, with the help o’ sites like Amazon. Ye can also get yer hands on the official 10^th Anniversary TLAPD t-shirt, if ye be so inclined. If ye’d like t’ throw a party, ye can make use of this free party kit! Children especially love this holiday, and Talk Like A Pirate Day parties. Tis like an early All Hallows Eve!

As fer food, Pirates were natural low-carbers! The first weeks at sea were the best, seeing as the food was fresh. They enjoyed such fare as meat, cheese, eggs, and fresh veggies. Sadly, as time wore on, those items spoiled and they had t’ resort t’ dried goods or lots o’ seasonings t’ hide the rancid taste. Thankfully, we be only pretendin’ to be pirates, so we can enjoy fresh bounty and still keep our girlish, er, rather, burly pirate figures.

Bone soup (bone broth) was a mainstay on most vessels, and provided lots o’ nutrients for hard-working deck hands. Bone broth is also a popular staple with the low-carb and paleo crowd, as well as the bone marrow.

Pirates also enjoyed meat pies, stews, fish, and fowl. While ye wouldn’t want t’ make meat pies just like those old scallywags, since they used pastry shells and rotting rats, but ye can throw t’gether a crustless quiche that would do nicely. And hearty stews are always a winner with the crew. Grilled meat is given.

Eating utensils were oft rare, but the mates did their best with what they ‘ad. Ye could  eat with yer fingers, should ye wish it, but keep in mind that foods like stew might be a tad hot… and slippery. Ye could end up swashing yer buckle.

I wish ye a fantastic Talk Like a Pirate Day! Enjoy the day, and may ye be greeted by fair winds, full booty, and minimal fish slapping. And go easy on the rum, unless ye prefer yer celebrations broadcast on the world-wide web.