Amazingly enough, you can find mazes of maize, and walk through them, searching your way from one end to the other, with nary a kernel passing your lips.

Some people can tell what time it is from looking at the sun. I have never been able to do that; the light is always too bright for me to see the numbers.

Looking for a Low-Carb Holiday? June is closest to my heart because it is National Beef Steak Month! A low carber's dream in one sort-of-fake holiday.

Here's something to ponder during Tax Month. On average, one teaspoon of honey is the lifetime labor output of twelve bees. Imagine that, twelve bees. I point this out to you in order to prove, once again, that things could always be worse.

Top O' the Morning to ye, boys and girls! Aren't we all Irish on and near St. Patrick's Day? Isn't it a law of our fair land? Doesn't everyone have to wear some article of green clothing, or suffer the pinching consequences? Anticipating that you have been hunting four-leaf clovers and practicing to do a proper Irish jig, I will now ask you this burning question: What's Irish and spends the summer outside the back door? It's Paddy O'Furniture, don't you know!

Happy New Year, 2002. It's a palindrome, you know, 2002. A palindrome is a word that reads the same backwards and forwards, like mom or dad or gag. The last time we had a palindromic year was 1991, and the one before that was clear back in 1881. And, there won't be another one for 110 years, not until the year 2112. These are rare years, indeed! It's a gas to be living in one.

So there I am, in the pig pen, with little piglets running to and fro under my feet, squealing. I'm lurching back and forth, holding a roasting pan upside-down over my head, swooping down with it at intervals, and all the while seriously wondering why I ever agreed to this scheme in the first place!

Since Glorious Spouse and I have become low carbers, the thing I miss most about stuffing the Thanksgiving turkey is getting rid of last year's Christmas fruitcake. Designated-drivers not withstanding, there should be bumper stickers that read "Friends Should Not Let Friends Give Fruitcakes."